Synnøve is being herself!!
Translated with ChatGPTSynnøve, you are my role model when it comes to being yourself. You are absolutely amazing at not caring what people think and just doing what you like, want, or need. You're rarely insecure, and if you are in doubt, you ask for help. If you're frustrated, you show it. If you're happy, you show it. If you're worried, you show it. And you show it with your whole being! When you laugh, you laugh loudly and freely. When you scold, you do it loudly and freely. It's fantastically liberating and easy to be around you. So I wanted to ask you some questions and share the answers in this post.
The first question must be, what's the secret?
The secret is to not constantly care about what others think and say - it just makes you tired and worn out. I learned this when I started my studies. Three years at the University of Buskerud resulted in very few study buddies. Back then, I was very concerned with being liked and didn't stand out much - I was trying too hard. So, when I was finishing my studies at the Oslo University College, I decided that this was just one year and I didn't need to make any friends. If people didn't like me, they could stay away. That's when I realized that I could be myself and making friends became easy. So I've just stuck to that.
We are similar in many ways, but not in everything. What is it like to be someone like you around someone like me?
It took quite a while before I realized that you found things challenging. I initially thought we were getting to know each other, and that people are different. I'm the kind of person who likes those around me to be happy, and you've been good at sharing your needs, which made it relatively easy to be around you. And if I ever did something wrong, you would investigate why things were done that way or why something was said, and then we could explain to each other what we meant and how it felt when things happened that way. Not always in the moment, but often through messages afterward. So, we've sort of built the path to a good friendship together, and now, quite often, we don't need more than a glance to understand what the other means. It's pretty awesome.
What do you think I can do to become tougher and more confident in myself?
I think you are tough and confident in yourself! At least when we're together. You appear that way outwardly. I believe you need to get rid of the "inner critic." Maybe try thinking more like this: "Think of all the idiots who have done this before me." (And you're definitely not an idiot!!) I was a bit worried about giving birth when I was expecting my first child, but then I remembered that my mom has given birth 4(!!!) times, and she's a thousand times more of a pushover than me. It would seriously be too dumb if I couldn't do it. And otherwise, just remember: everything will work out. Because it does, in some way or another.
If you had to name one thing that could stop you from doing what you want, need, or desire, what would it be? For example, dark water or snakes.
I think, in reality, I could probably overcome both snakes and the dark for many things, even though they are the scariest things I know. I held a snake to impress my niece when Oslo Reptile Park visited the library last autumn, even though I hate snakes. But if what I want, need, or desire would harm someone I care about, that would stop me.
Superwoman
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Superwoman 〰️
I'm making it sound like you are a superhuman without fear or worries. I know that you don't like to swim without seeing the bottom, or to walk outside in the dark. I've seen you doubt your own decisions and be uncertain. But what's fantastic about it is that I've also seen you jump into the water and cross the dark lawn. I've heard you talk yourself out of doubt and give yourself advice to make a decision. It's precisely that which makes me see you as a superhuman, a role model.
I've learned so much from you. So, one of my goals throughout this year is to laugh as loudly and freely as you do!"
The story of the plants is that Synnøve gave me a cutting a few years ago. I managed to kill it. But I got a second chance. With a warning that if it dies, the friendship dies. Now, a few years later, that cutting has grown into two big ones, with several siblings at friends' and family's places 🤩 So, the friendship lives on!
Therefore, I encourage everyone to find their role model and tell them. A role model who is close to you, someone you meet often. If you don't quite know who that is yet, it's alright as well. I didn't know until I started looking either. Because I wasn't good enough at looking beyond myself. I was only focused on myself. What I had to do. What I did wrong. How others saw me.
Synnøve is one of those who pulled me out of my shell. Because she saw me, liked me, and said that I was alright. Find your Synnøve. Even if you have to search a bit.
I hope I continue to learn and eventually come out of my shell even more and see even more around me. Because it can be pretty nice out there from time to time!
A little footnote. It's not that Synnøve is my only role model! I find more and more all the time. It just felt right to write about her now, so that's what I did. Because I wanted to. So there.