KokoMiriam's Anxiety Tips
Translated with ChatGPTI created a daily routine that worked for our little family. That doesn't mean it works for everyone, but it might work for some. And it could be that it makes life easier for some people without anxiety too. Because it's true that all people find some things uncomfortable. And even though anxiety is the worry and fear of something that isn't necessarily a real danger, maybe some of these tips can help in other situations too. Like if you don't like the dark but have to walk down a dark hallway because the light switch is at the other end. Or you have to cross a bridge you don't feel entirely safe on.
For once Morten is the one who is scared
I usually always make sure that I'm as prepared as I can be. Sometimes I do a little research in advance. When was the bridge built and what is it made of? Then I tell myself reasons why this isn't dangerous. It's just the hallway in my own house. There's nothing that can harm me there. As long as I remember that bag on the right by the door and don't knock down the picture on the wall. I can also do calming things if it's something I have to do for an extended period, like a few hours. I can tap my fingertips together, listen to music, square breathing, or I can solve practical tasks. For me, these are some of the best things I can do if I'm going to be somewhere for a long time. If the challenge is being in a large crowd, I can play Sudoku on my phone, for example. If it's a big dinner, I can do math problems in my head. If I'm attending an event that Morten is in charge of, he gives me a specific practical task. For example, making sure the sound is right, the coffee is brewed, or the VIP area is taken care of. That way, my brain can't run wild with negative thoughts. It's too busy with the tasks.
There is also a lot to consider about placement in the room. When I attend shows, I always try to book tickets with assigned seating. Or get reserved seats (because I'm extremely lucky and spoiled). Then I know where I'm going to sit and what's around me. I prefer to be near a door and preferably on the outermost edge of a row. When we're at a place to eat, I like to sit with my back against the wall and have the best view of the room. But I have the impression that everyone prefers that, actually. The worst thing I know is events where I get separated from my security (a person I trust). Again, I'm lucky that my friends know this and take it into account. Without it feeling embarrassing or uncomfortable. I've been honest about it, and people respect it. So I often get the comfy spot, like the spoiled princess I am.
Also, stop thoughts that loop as quickly as possible. You solve little by repeating everything all the time. It just makes you tired. So drop it. (I know! It's not that easy, but try)
In summary:
Arrive prepared for what you can.
Reassure yourself if necessary.
Have a calming exercise ready. Your brain can't be unnecessarily afraid and practical at the same time.
Position yourself where you feel safe, or let others know that it's easier for you to sit a certain way.
Last but not least, be honest with those around you! They usually want to help.
Finally, I can recommend taking a break to reset your nervous system if possible. I do this by elevating my legs against the wall. However, it can also be done by just lying flat.
I recently learned an exercise that no one can see you doing unless they look closely. It involves alternating your focus between an object quite close (about 60 cm) and one farther away (about 4 meters). This stimulates the vagus nerve, which is a crucial nerve responsible for many functions, including the ability to calm down and reduce stress. I really like that nerve. It's essential to know how to get it on your side. It also responds well when you breathe deeply with your diaphragm. True deep breathing, which we women tend to avoid because it reveals our belly! Oh dear!
But now I'm getting a bit off track. If you want to learn more, just Google the vagus nerve.
I hope you found this useful. I wrote this as much for myself for the Big USA trip as to share it with you. It's essential to be a little selfish now and then! 😅