Neptune, the sea god
Translated with ChatGPTI recently took a walk on the beach and had a lively encounter with Neptune. In my attempt to avoid saltwater on my clothes, he played a prank and sent a wave crashing into the staircase I was trying to escape through. The result was a semi-wet girl with sand and water in the oddest places, all from what started as an innocent beach stroll.
Yes, there's sand on my face. No, I didn't wet myself. It looks like I'm smiling, but that's because I have sand in my teeth, and Morten is laughing his head off...
But it got me thinking. Einstein once said that doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome is a sign of madness. To me, it seems like the waves keep crashing against the shore again and again without change. So the ocean is definitely crazy bananas! Unpredictable, relentless, and pretty darn scary. And it attacks innocent women on beach walks. But maybe we can still learn something from it? Because, in a way, I do exactly the same. For those around me, it probably seems like I'm essentially doing the same thing over and over. I'm just on vacation in one big city after another. And that is, to some extent, absolutely true. But with each city, I gather new knowledge, just like a wave carries away a handful of sand.
A somewhat strange metaphor, I agree. But all of this is based on thoughts that pop into my head suddenly, and they aren't always straightforward to grasp. What I'm trying to convey is that just as the waves keep washing ashore repeatedly, I do things over and over with the hope that the outcome will be different each time. "Maybe this big city is calmer." "Perhaps I'll see something nicer in this city." Essentially, I'm trying to learn to maintain an inner calm when it's stormy all around me. A wave that we see breaking on the shore does so because it encounters something that alters its course. It was originally just coming in to create some high tide because the moon insisted on it. Then - boom! - there was a sandbar, and it had to adjust a bit. The water is the same; it just had to make a slight adjustment.
So when I, again and again, expose myself to things I'm not particularly fond of, it's to teach myself that I can simply make a minor adjustment. It's not a crisis. Just a little tweak. I have to learn this because some of the sandbars I've encountered have been very surprising, abrupt, and shallower than initially thought. So every time I approach a sandbar, I think it's an absolute disaster. I forget that it can also be exciting and fun to encounter shallows once in a while. Sometimes it's the surfers who come and enjoy it. Other times the dolphins are playing there. So it's not always utterly dreadful to encounter a sandbar. Change doesn't have to be tiring or negative.
Right now, I'm like a wave searching for shallows. I want as many as possible to see how much fun I can have with them. Every time I wash over a sandbar, I can learn something new. I can sneak away a fresh handful of grains of sand and delight in the new direction. Yes, I know that waves don't have a mind and emotions, but let's pretend, shall we? If you imagine that each wave is an experience you have and each sandbar is an unforeseen event in that experience, you might understand what I mean. Imagine that you're right in the middle of a pleasant experience, and then - boom! - an unexpected event occurs. It doesn't have to be negative, and it doesn't necessarily have to make things more challenging, but my experience has been that it often does. And at times, it has felt like that's what happens most of the time. So I started to fear every sandbar. I began trying to avoid them. What happens then is that life turns into a whole lot of calm seas. No action, no unexpected events, and no sense of accomplishment. That's not the best way to live life, at least not in my opinion. Without sandbars, there are no breaking waves. There's no action. It just becomes a bit too dull. So that's why I'm a wave on the hunt for a sandbar to master. And the more sandbars I conquer, the better life gets.
Do you follow the metaphor now? I understand if you don't. Let me summarize a bit. I'm taking this journey to master as much as possible in the shortest time. I fill my life with challenges that are difficult for me because that's how I experience mastery, which helps me learn to relax and enjoy life better. So I'm not crazy. I'm not doing the same thing over and over expecting something new to happen. I'm doing it over and over hoping to learn something new each time. So even though it might seem like I'm doing the same thing every day, I'm doing it to teach my brain that it's not dangerous if things don't go as planned. It's not dangerous if changes happen abruptly. Because I always have control over what's happening inside me. I decide how to handle what washes over me, just like I decided to shed a few tears when Neptune filled my mouth and nose with saltwater. Because it's allowed too. I don't like all the surprises that come my way, but I deal with all of them. At least I'm trying to learn to do that.
So if you're not entirely in agreement or didn't follow the entire journey with waves and shallows, that's perfectly fine. This is how my brain works. And these are things I hope I never change! My brain is creative and exciting, and I like it a lot. I hope that I'll be able to go with the flow again. I hope I'll become better at enjoying life and laughing out loud. For now, I can report that I've become better at taking things as they come. I don't plan everything, at least not far in advance. So I've improved in that regard. I've also had more moments where I've really enjoyed what I'm doing. So that's progress for me! I hope you read this and think, "If she can, I can too!" Because you can! Step out the door and do something you don't like but want to like! It doesn't have to be something big, just something that makes you a little uncomfortable. Because you have the power to change it!
I realized one specific thing I've started doing spontaneously. I used to often go online and check the menu of the place where we were going to have lunch or dinner. Then I'd have a plan when I got there. Now, since we've been eating out so frequently, I've stopped doing that. I've even begun to ask questions about the menu when I'm ordering food or drinks. After I got drenched by the sea god, we found a café. We returned there the next day because I was grumpy and wet and wanted to go back. Anyway, I asked if their iced tea was real tea. I got an answer that it was, so I said yes. I quickly regretted it because it was really strong and murky. So Morten went in to get a lemonade instead. It's a bit of progress at least! 😅
I see the murky iced tea on the left.
It was exchanged for this lovely strawberry lemonade that had just the right amount of tanginess.