I am a tree
Translated with ChatGPTI have found that I need to do things several times over a short period to get used to them. That way, I become calmer and manage to settle down. So, this life we're living right now, this journey we're on, is not really my thing. I don't have time to find my place before we move on. I'm like a twig in a river, a sometimes very fast river with high water levels and sharp bends. I apparently need to work on getting better at finding my inner peace, not relying on finding it in everything around me. I have no idea how to do that. Or if it's even possible. Are some people just like me, and others like Morten? Are some people just always able to sort through impressions and tune out everything they don't need?
I'm definitely not like that, and that's probably my challenge on this journey. I'm used to calm surroundings and Norwegian ways. I'm not used to people greeting, making small talk while the receipt is printed, or asking questions and expecting answers! I'm used to avoiding eye contact and doing my own thing. You greet acquaintances, not just anyone!
Living so high above the ground, like in the view from the first picture, is something I could never handle! And looking down at the city didn't help either!And what's the deal with all these sounds!! Air conditioning/fans with their ticking on and off. People in neighboring rooms or above/below. It's like living in an apartment building. Unfamiliar! And these city sounds?! Sirens all day and night, cars ALWAYS, honking, shouting, and alarms. Plus the occasional motorcycle with its loud engine, and some of them play loud music that you can hear after they've passed. On top of that are the smells. Some are good, some are bad, but very few are familiar. So they need to be processed too.
No, this life probably isn't quite for me. I think I'm more like a tree, not a drifting branch. I need ground contact with roots, stability, and slow change.
It also turns out I enjoy being surrounded by trees. During one of our road trips, we drove along the coast and into Redwood forests. We switched between these environments. That's when I felt a sense of security deep within the forest filled with enormous trees, compared to a beach with massive waves crashing in. We didn't go all the way down to the beach because it was closed due to strong winds and big waves, but we got close enough for me to realize this. I trust that a tree won't throw a branch down to kill me, more than I trust that a wave won't drag me out to the sea and swallow me into a certain death.
This once again shows how I'm influenced by my surroundings and don't tap into what I have inside me. Another example of this is when we spent a day at the Gingerbread Mansion in Ferndale. Such a fun place! An old house with several rooms, all decorated with various patterns and motifs. It was like a museum for different patterns over the years. There was so much! My brain experienced some kind of overstimulation when I entered there. I felt nauseated and extremely stressed by all the colors and patterns bombarding me. An incredibly fun place, but only for about 30 minutes.
So here, I wish once again that I could set that aside and find some peace. Because there weren't many rooms there, and the others were occupied by Canadians on a Porsche road trip. It would have been cool to sit down with them and play and laugh heartily. It didn't happen entirely, but I gathered the courage and went downstairs at least. I talked and made eye contact. So that was nice!! I even laughed out loud. Not entirely carefree, but a start.
I'm trying to get better at finding peace within myself, but I don't know how. Sometimes, I've tried to think that I just have to be a bit like a tree. I need to find contact with the ground beneath me, feel what's around me, and use it to calm myself. What I've ended up discovering is that I'm already like a tree. I prefer it when I'm in the same place with little change. I like things to be stable and predictable. Trees rarely surprise. Usually, you can trust that they'll be there day after day. They support you when needed. They also adapt to their surroundings, slowly and calmly over time. Like the trees we've seen along the coast here. They're all crooked from the wind blowing on them for a long time. Or they're low bushes. The point is that they've adapted. But it didn't just happen suddenly, overnight. It took time.
So when I get frustrated with myself because I'm not quite where I thought I should be or because I think I should have handled a situation better given how far I've come, I try to remind myself that I'm like a tree. I adapt. It just takes a little more time. Like the rental car guy said when we were returning the car, "No hurry, take your time." So I'll take my time. And I'll remember that I'm not like everyone else. I might always dislike some situations and prefer some things. That's just who I am. And that's okay. I'm not like everyone else because everyone else isn't like everyone else either. Everyone has their quirks, and that's perfectly fine. As long as everyone is themselves, it'll be good. So go out and be yourself. The world needs exactly you, and you are good enough just as you are!
Here are some variations of me when we visited a 3D illusion museum. Because I can be whatever I want to be 😇
By the way, I learned that Redwood trees sometimes grow together in clusters. They sprout out of the stump of a "parent" tree, and they cluster together. They even intertwine their roots to share nutrients and provide mutual support. So that's another reason to appreciate these trees! 😍 I'm a big fan of family, after all. 🧡
