Life is a rollercoaster
Translated with ChatGPTUps and downs all the time. It's not surprising that one can get disoriented at times.
Our day in Boston went mostly well. I started with good spirits. We planned to spend a few hours exploring the city center. We intended to walk the Freedom Trail and Harbor Walk to see the most of it. Then we thought about going over to Fenway Park (the baseball stadium of the Boston Red Sox).
There were several calm, green, and lush parks along the route. It was fantastic to experience this in the midst of a big city. I enjoyed it! After about an hour of walking, we reached a fruit and vegetable market, which is one of the most challenging things for me. Crowds pushing, people shouting, crates being moved, and trolleys rattling, all straight into my brain at once! But this time, the panic didn't come!! It didn't feel overwhelming in the same way! There were sounds, smells, and lots of movement, but not more than I could handle. I even noticed that the fruits and vegetables smelled good. I enjoyed it again! It was unbelievable! So we added a bit more to the plan and walked the extra hour to Fenway Park.
"BAD IDEA!! It was seriously scary there! Lots of cars and loud noises. Homeless people had set up homes along the paths and under bridges. Potholes with marijuana smoke coming out of them. People moving unpredictably. (Maybe it was somewhat colored by the fact that I was tired, but that's how I experienced it.) My brain completely freaked out. We're going to die now! And I'm wearing shorts, but I didn't shave my legs this morning! So embarrassing if they have to lift me onto a stretcher! I yelled at Morten, even though he hadn't done anything wrong (at that moment).
Shortly after that, we were in a car on the way back to the hotel. My pulse went down, and I realized that we were going to survive after all.
The day after, we drove to Syracuse. One night at the hotel, and I woke up before the birds even made a sound. I was broken. I wanted to go home. I went outside the hotel for a short walk yesterday, and it seriously felt like the ground was swaying. It made me even more scared. Back in the room, the AC was making a lot of noise. Sirens, cars, and loud music could be heard from outside. In the middle of the night, someone was pounding on the door. The AC kept turning on and off all night. Noise, no noise, noise, cold air, hot, cold. The whole night was full of sensory overload. So, I slept terribly. I woke up with a tired and aching body. I cried to Morten because I felt like a failure.
But I'm not! I've encountered my first low point on this trip. I knew it was going to happen. It's kind of expected. So, in reality, I'm right on track. This is going exactly as planned! The East Coast is scary because it's new to me. That's all. And that's okay. I'm taking charge of today and deciding how it's going to start. It's going to start with food, Valium, and Tylenol. I'm coming, world!"
Oh, I have to tell you, that day turned out to be such an upswing!! Probably a good mix of Valium, a nap in the car, and the decision to spend the night just across the border in Canada instead of Buffalo. There are tourists everywhere here. And yes, Canadian politeness is no joke. Plus, Niagara Falls is soothing in a way. Watching those immense forces rushing along, but in such a calm and majestic manner. So, I've picked myself up a bit. Tomorrow it's Cleveland. There might be a low point there, but then it's on to Chicago. It should be an upswing 🤞🏼 They have an ice cream museum, after all.
Guys!! We realized that we can make our own decisions! So we drove right through Cleveland and on to the somewhat smaller city of Toledo. That meant I found a hotel that I booked all by myself! It was really nice and gave me a wonderful sense of calm. So the low point was averted this time!
In addition to booking a hotel without help from Morten, I also drove on the interstate (or freeway. I dont know the differense). It was incredibly fun to accomplish that. I've worked on myself so much to avoid being stressed about everything. I was very sad and down when things got stuck in Syracuse. Reversing that feeling is something I couldn't have done a year ago. Admitting that it's like that and that it's okay is new. Deciding that I won't let what happened affect what will happen is also new. It takes a lot, but it gives back more!
I hope I can continue with this throughout our whole journey. I hope you give it a try too. Because it actually works! As Sturla says in his lectures: You decide how you want it to be and how you want to take it! So make your decision. It might take a few tries, but it's worth it!