Valium 👍🏻👎🏻
Translated with ChatGPTI take daily pills for racing thoughts. It's because I get very tired and unfocused when I don't take them. It's probably not always necessary because some periods are better than others. But I choose to take them because I don't know when the bad periods will come. I only know they have arrived, a little after I'm smack in the middle of it. So, I take them regularly because professionals say it's the wisest. But on the journey we've just been on, I also took valium sometimes. These are more calming pills and work more to calm the nervous system. They make me calmer overall. I get a bit sluggish. Sleepy, kind of. And I don't perceive the surroundings as fast-paced and chaotic. Partly because I don't care about the surroundings in the same way as without them. Part of it is because I feel that my brain, in general, is working a bit slower. Which is not necessarily a bad thing in my case, as it's usually quite efficient in taking in impressions and observations. So, when I'm about to fly, or in the first few days in those insanely large cities in the USA, I need a little help to slow down how quickly I take in what I experience.
The downside is that I don't care about much else either. I become a bit indifferent and emotionally flat. So, if I had taken them when I was about to enter Upper Antelope Canyon, I probably wouldn't have experienced it as fantastic. To feel all the emotions inside there was what made the whole experience so amazingly awesome! I was excited, scared, thrilled, fascinated, and happy, among other things. And I wanted to feel all those emotions. So, it wasn't right for me to take valium.
This doesn't mean that it's wrong to use these medications! Because I'm all for using medication when you need it. I do it myself. And I do it sometimes even when I personally believe I don't need it. Because my experience is that if Morten and/or my doctor recommends it, then it's right. When I'm struggling the most, it's not always that I agree that I'm struggling because I'm at a point where I don't care as much about things. I can skip showering because it's tiring. I can skip eating because I don't find anything I want. I can skip exercising because it seems pointless. I can even stay home from social events because I don't want to deal with the hassle of talking to people and such. It's not a good way to live. It's not how things should be. But I don't notice it in the same way. Because I don't care. So, the people around me pick up on it and let me know. My experience is that it's wise to listen to them. Then I can decide more for myself when I've come home from a workout, taken a shower, and had a good meal.
That's what valium is for me. A tool to get through, and out of, tough periods. Those that are too tough for me to handle without help. It should be mentioned that I very rarely use them, but it's because I have an incredibly patient support system around me. They can handle the lazy, unwashed, and unsocial Miriam dropping by for shorter periods. And sometimes I get out of it myself, but usually it's wise with a bit of medical help.
It's also a tool when I'm about to do things that I know will be tougher than I can endure. Like MR/CT scans that involve small spaces and loud noises. Also, flights. I've tried flying without it, and I've tried flying with it. Without it, I usually have a terrible time the day before we leave, during the journey, and feel no sense of accomplishment afterward. Then I'm just tired and frustrated. So, I've found that the longer flights that can potentially be a bit bumpy, or when we have layovers so I have to go up and down multiple times, are best with a little dash of valium. And since I feel that they work for quite a while, I can take them the night before and still have an effect the day of the challenge.
Valium is therefore 👍🏻 in my world. I appreciate being able to accept such a tool now and then. The Great USA Journey wouldn't have been the same without that aid. I've actually used 18 of them during the Great USA Journey. So, 18 days with and 43 days without! Much fewer than I thought I would need after that dreadful night in Syracuse. Even though I now feel much tougher and stronger than before I left, I'll probably still appreciate a supportive valium now and then 👍🏻
Hope you have a lovely Sunday and can spend some extra time with someone you haven't seen or talked to in a while 🧡