Fear of Fear Part 1. The Panic Attack Part
Translated with Chat GPT
When the sun outside isn't enough, we create our own indoors ☀️ We made this in 2014 while adjusting to life without the baby we wanted so much.
I started this as one post, but it got insanely long. So I split it in two. You can read this post for panic attacks or the next one for depression. Or both if you want to.
I've been scared of a lot of different things for a long time. Some are real, some I'm probably not alone in, and some are really good to be scared of. But when is it okay to be scared? When should you ignore fear? When should you listen to it? I have no idea what's right here. But I know what I've experienced is right for me.
When I had my first panic attack, it was absolutely terrible! I was on my way home from work. I was about 100 meters from the house when I realized something was really wrong. I stopped the car in the driveway and ran inside to Morten. I couldn't breathe in because everything tightened around my chest! My heart was pounding so hard that I think my head was pulsating with it! My vision suddenly became a thin stripe, so I couldn't see what was happening around me. I started to feel dizzy, hot, and unsteady. Then the nausea and vomiting came. Morten steered me into the bathroom where I hung over the toilet while he got a cold cloth to put on my neck. I was boiling hot. The clothes had to come off! They were about to kill me. Watch, bracelet, hair, socks! Everything was wrong. I cried and said, "I don't understand what's happening! Make it stop!" Morten was the epitome of calm! He realized that this was about a panic attack. He kept his hand on my back and the cloth on my neck. He repeated calmly, "It's not dangerous, you're having a panic attack. You need to breathe calmly in and out. I'm here, and everything is fine." That's how we went on for a few minutes before things started to calm down.
Since then, I've had several larger and smaller panic attacks. And I handle them well enough now. Once at work, I hid in the bathroom and texted my colleagues (who are also my very good friends) - Panic attack. In the bathroom. Be there soon. - Then I got 10 minutes to gather myself, and one of them came down and checked on me. That's what's fantastic about openness and honesty about mental health!
It also took a long time before I wasn't so trapped by the fear of new panic attacks. As I realized that I wasn't going to die and the attacks became more predictable, it also calmed down. But the tingling in the body, tunnel vision, ringing in the ears, and nausea are still uncomfortable. The difference is that now I know it will pass quite quickly. And when I start to yawn, it's a sure sign that it's almost over.
Therefore, I'm no longer afraid of panic attacks. I still don't like them. But I've realized that when they come, I stop, check around me, and check if I'm in real danger or not. Is there nothing dangerous happening or going to happen? Well, then I don't listen to the fear. I just wait for it to pass. If, however, there is danger, then listen to the fear and run for your life or do something else sensible to avoid the danger!
In other words. Listen carefully to fear and be critical. You don't have to run from everything all the time. That just makes you tired.