A new everyday life
Translated with ChatGPTI've now tested out this new everyday life for a few weeks. It's actually been about 4 weeks. I feel that I've accomplished a lot in these weeks! I've found a new thing to fill my days with, learning more about creating websites. It's still very new to me, but I feel that it's scary, enjoyable, challenging, and rewarding all at once. I try and fail a lot, so that's scary. But then I achieve a lot, and that's enjoyable. I get stuck on things and have to work on patience. That's challenging. Fortunately, I receive a lot of praise from those I create for now, so that's very rewarding.
What I was least prepared for was how incredibly difficult it is to sit in an office chair! I'm really bad at it and have gained a completely different understanding of students who squirm around on those stiff chairs! Even though I have a good chair with a high back and everything. I mostly end up sideways, with my legs up, or threaded through the armrest. I prefer to stand, sit in a chair with a stool for my feet, or lie on the floor. Therefore, it's a bit challenging for me when I have to be an adult and sit in meetings in cafes and such. Because I seem to be a real fidget! When I work at home/in Geilo, I can fidget as much as I want. At the office, we have a comfy chair with a footrest that works perfectly. So mostly, I can adjust myself here and there for the best possible experience of my new workday. Morten has been a paparazzi, so here are some of my work positions from the past week.
Another thing I've started to have time for is being a babysitter for Johnayla. Now I can pick her up from kindergarten, enjoy some time with her, sleep restlessly because there's so much responsibility, wake up to a lot of joy, and drop her off at kindergarten before I start my day.
Here we're having spread, pickles (of course), cereal without milk, and a banana for breakfast! 🤩
Also, lunches! I can meet friends for lunch. Or have a business lunch. The latter isn't quite as often yet, but at least I have time for it 😅 I also drop by the school for lunch now and then. Because that's something I miss now. Although everyday life is still filled with tasks, impressions, and commitments, it's not quite the same as when I went to work and met familiar faces every day. Not having daily contact with my colleagues is a loss. It means that I'm more dependent on replenishment and support from my closest ones. I don't get daily confirmation from different people that I'm okay. I have to get it from the closest ones. Or myself!? 🫣 It's going to be a very big transition. At my workplace, people are generous with compliments, praise, and positive feedback. So now there's less of that. And probably even less when I'm sitting at Geilo without much of a network. It will be incredibly interesting to see what it does to my head. Will I become more confident in myself? Will I become more fond of myself? Will I get a setback? If so, how significant will it be? I guess we'll have to wait an see.
Around this time in recent years, I've often been on sick leave, caught a cold, had the flu, or some other form of illness. Much of that is because I interact with people every day. And often in close physical contact too. So when there's a wave of illness going around, it's natural to catch it. But sick leave is because I'm empty. Empty of the energy to face the world outside. Empty of strength, joy, and creativity. I think it's because I give a lot. I used to give a lot out and not hold anything back for myself. Now that I'm starting to feel my own worth a bit, I hold back a little for myself. I think that prevents me from having the same setback. I don't become completely empty of energy. It could also have something to do with getting a few extra weeks of sunlight this fall. But I believe it has a lot to do with finding something that gives me something right now. It's very similar to what I felt in the beginning as an assistant in school. I went to work with energy and looked forward to every day. Now my life has changed. I've gotten older. I've experienced more things that provide a "shit, life can turn quickly" moment. And it starts a thought: What do I want to be left with when I walk into the light? For me, it becomes clearer every day. I want to be left with a brimming joy tank, an overflowing suitcase of good experiences, and a bookshelf full of memory books from time with family and friends. I want to drag so much baggage into the light that even the valet dude in USA gets stressed. That's my goal!
So this year is the beginning of my life's consolidation phase. I will now, without being particularly selective, embrace opportunities with open arms. I will squeeze every drop out of every moment. Just like Askeladden does with the cheese to scare the troll. Of course, I won't do crazy things, like bungee jumping and such. I've had enough adrenaline through panic attacks over the years, so I won't seek that out. But I won't reject opportunities because I limit myself. I can't know if I can do it until I've tried. And when I try, I can always say that this isn't for me or I didn't quite get it. Then I've tried, and that's more than what I did before!
So now it's time to find all the empty containers, cause I'm about to fill them up! Good luck, world. I hope you're ready 😂🤪🙃